The "Celebrity" Awards. This is just a joke, right? I mean, this 1 1/2 hour program on ITV1 giving out awards to the best "celebrity" of the year is just a piss take, yeah? What if it's not? What if it's real? Oh God, I couldn't begin to comprehend it. I can hear it in the background as I type. Westlife are performing "Big Band" music? A cover of "Ain't that a kick in the head" no less? On the Celebrity awards? How the fuck do you win a celebrity award anyway? Most lunches at The Ivy? Most public break up? Most Hello covers? Most appearances of knickers in the Daily Sport? What the fuck? Who the fuck? Why the fuck? How is this program in existence? Who made it? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DOING ON MY TELEVISION?

*sob* there is *sob* an award *sob* for best *sob* REALITY TV STAR *sob* *sob* *sob* *sob*

... I have to go curl up and die. 21st century living has finally taken its toll on me ...

- posted by Adam @ 7:39 pm